From Scars to Stars

I had chicken pox two weeks ago. The first week was really stressful. Every day was a challenge. Every night when you sleep, it's not the same as before. Every morning, you wake up with another pox/es on face or chests or on any parts of the body. As for me, most of it grew on my face. Thus, when I look in the mirror, I see a different me. Good thing I took Cetirizine for the itchiness and it was effective.

I struggled a lot on my first week. No one is going near me. I am isolated in my room. Loneliness, self-pity and stress were trying to succumb me. I was on the verge on giving in. But to my surprise, I wasn't. And I will never be. I carry on for the the rest of the first week; my face was different and explainably gross, I got poxes also inside my mouth: on my tonsils and gums. It added to my burden. I can't eat well; It hurts to chew and to swallow. Good thing some of my medicines are in syrup already. On the sixth day, the right side of my face got swollen. My paracetamol wasn't effective anymore. It was changed to Mefenamic acid.

After that week, the poxes started to pop one by one at a time. I spent another week to wait for the popping of my poxes and for the healing of the popped ones. Then scabbing happen. They say I was more contagious at this stage. But I feel much better now. The scabs on my face started to peel off on the ninth day. 

Scabs went off now. I can see my face a little bit better. Since most of the poxes grew on my face, it has put a toll there. It makes me sad that I have scars on my face already. And it is visible at one look. I am lifting myself now. Elevating the feeling of being low. When I look at the mirror, I still smile. Though my face is "not so okay". there's still the radiance inside me. I can feel there's a positive feeling from within. It tells me that everything will be okay. My face will be back to its formal health. Currently, I am using Contractubex to heal my facial scars. Good thing I didn't do a scar on my mentality. What's inside me is still me. Strong. Positive. Favored by Gods as I say.

I remember back in college I had a dorm mate who told me that she had beautiful skin because she prayed it to the Lord. Imagine that, the state of her skin is prayed to the Lord. I can do that too!

I have a friend who told me that my state right now is an advantage for a job interview. She told me that the chicken pox is a blessing. I recall that our God has purpose in everything that is happening to us. Every pain, setback is a blessing. It makes you prepared for the future.

Another friend told me to turn my scars into stars. We must live in positivity and look always at the bright side of things. In the near future, the scars will be just a memory of my braveness during the days of trial. My scars will fly to the night sky as stars as an epitome of courage, positivity and grace.

Thank You Lord God for giving me this trial. You know how hard it is for me. And I wont give up on it. I will do my very best to remove or lessen the visibility of my scars, I'm sorry for being stubborn. I guess I was just missing something at home. You are my Divine God. You have always been there for me from womb till now, from setbacks to rejoices. I will remain positive in You with all my heart. Starting now, I will not dwell in lowness but I will claim in Your name that every wound in my body will heal and every scar in my skin will be removed. I promise You, my God, I will held up my head till the scars go away. I love You, Lord. Thank you for the grace of healing and strength of mind and body. Amen. :)

Remembering Granny Tecs

It's been a month.. It was an undescribable, crazy feeling back then. That time, I was anxious, walking back and forth, dont know what to do, but I wasn't crying: I was in denial, I didn't enter her room, I just looked from afar. I knew that time will certainly come, it was hard to accept when it came to reality. I spent my days with her. I was one of her darlings. She gave everything I want. From toys to dresses. When she arrives from a trip, there's always a pasalubong. There was a time when she asked me what do I like as a pasalubong when she gets home, I said something with Pocahontas on it. And she came home with Pocahontas coloring books. She even gives me money to buy my sickness so I wont be ill anymore. Granny also had that suhol habit, she gave us money to buy things or do an errand for her, idk a grandchild who didnt like that. She taught me how to dance Cha-cha. We dance around and did some exercises in our sala. I felt really special. She brings me to her office way back when she was still the cashier of DENR. She calls her office "hawla". Granny was a foodie. She spents too much on food. There was a time when she cooked so many suman, biko and latik for all saints and souls days. Just to finish it, she slept so late it was nearly dawn. She also cooks pancit canton for us cousins. Granny was extravagant on clothing. It was always made by the sastre. When she sees a beautiful cut on TV, she will copy it and let it be made. She also fancied the colors of the dresses, she would say "gwapo kaayo ang kulay". She always wanted terno. I remember when Granny let's us put her tina/hair color. She always wanted to look young and feel young. That's why she also wanted us to call her Granny not Lola. She always had her manicure and pedicure. I recall that its hard to cut her nails because there were tiny flesh beneath it that bleeds easily. I remember their were times that i hurt her because i wasnt careful enough. My grandma was a maldita type and she had many things to say and you can feel it in her actions. There was a time when I was bathing her in her bathroom, I asked her "Granny, maaga pa man daw noon nagayawyaw ka na." She answered, "oo, alas dos pa ng umaga." Hehehe straightforward talking it was. It made me smile. She was just true to herself. I wanted her to feel special too, I can just do little things back then. I promised her things I know she'll be proud of, but she had gone already. I am sad that I wrote this thing in past tense. Granny Tecs, you are always in our hearts.. I love you, i miss you👵💕